Family and Friends
This is the fourth in a series of blog posts about results from our nationwide survey, entitled “Lessons in Coping with Economic Anxiety – A Gift from Our Elders”. The survey results were announced in conjunction with the annual conference Aging in America 2009. To read the story of the interesting and inspiring findings, see http://www.walkerwonder.com/pages.php?pageid=24
A while back, I received a “Happy New Year” letter from a good friend. She wrote the letter instead of the usual “Merry Christmas letter” because her family had been unable to gather together for the holidays until the holidays were almost over. This letter was different than many such letters. It spoke honestly about the challenges different family members were facing. But it wasn’t depressing or doom-and gloom. It also celebrated joyful events like the birth of a new grandchild and the upcoming first-anniversary of the youngest son and his wife. The key message wasn’t, “We’re all so perfect.” Instead it was, “Some of us faced illness; almost all had economic worries; but the real gift of these holidays was our presence with one another.”
What a reminder about the importance of family and friends! In our Lessons in Coping survey, half of survey respondents said that their elders taught them to cherish and rely on friends and family during challenging economic times, saying that these deep and longstanding relationships were among life’s real treasures. From one survey respondent: “Our mother taught us that any gift given is more valuable if given from the heart and not from the wallet.”
Wrote another survey respondent: “My German grandparents were the most wonderful, loving and generous people. I’m certain I learned how to give and love because of them.” What an amazing gift from one generation to another - the ability to love!
Such “heart gifts” also pay quite handsome dividends, even though those dividends aren’t monetary. Many survey respondents told us that they were coping with economic uncertainties by relying on these kinds of gifts from their elders years ago. “My father’s family never really had money,” wrote one respondent. “After they all passed away, I realized that MONEY isn’t everything; your family and happiness are everything.” Another told us, “My grandparents both lived through the Depression. Love was the most important thing in their house and that’s how we try to live.”
Now in all honesty none of us has a perfect family. Who doesn’t have “difficult” relatives? (Although neither I nor any of my readers could possibly be a difficult relative - hmmm?) Some of us have also created “families of choice,” made up of dear and trusted friends, in lieu of birth-families that were just too difficult to endure. But regardless of each family’s unique structure, the common thread is the human bond that sustains us through good times and bad. As one survey respondent wrote, “My Mom always said, money comes and goes. As long as you keep your family around you, you will be rich.”
Any comments about the importance of family and friends during today’s challenges? Share your comments below.
