Fear - NOT!
This is the third in a series of blog posts about results from our nationwide survey, entitled “Lessons in Coping with Economic Anxiety – A Gift from Our Elders”. The survey results were announced in conjunction with the annual conference Aging in America 2009. To read the story of the interesting and inspiring findings, see http://www.walkerwonder.com/pages.php?pageid=24
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain
Trouble, including economic trouble, was certainly no stranger to Mark Twain. During the course of his life, he lost large amounts of money in unsuccessful investments, owned a publishing company that failed, and declared bankruptcy. Yet, he says, most of the troubles in his life never happened. These, of course, were the troubles that existed only in his mind as fears and worries.
In our survey, many of our respondents told us that their elders had given them similar advice about fear and worry. A 19-year old man in Texas wrote, “My family has shown me to remain calm even in the most difficult of times. Heck, if you listen to the experts, half the things you do in a normal day can kill you. Why live your life in fear?”
I do think that much of what we read and hear today, especially about the economy, generates fear. I don’t think this is some conspiracy to keep everyone frightened. Rather I think it is simply the fact that fearful things are the most newsworthy.
I recently read a newspaper story about an industry in my local area. The writer reported that there could be layoffs next year. Consider that. There could be layoffs next year. Conversely (but certainly not mentioned in the news article), there could also be a major new contract awarded next year. There could also be a tornado, hurricane or earthquake by next year.
I believe the findings in our WalkerWonder survey are newsworthy, too. And they are not fear-filled. Rather our respondents stressed things like gratitude, persistence and love of friends and family. A woman in her early 40s told us, “Thanks to the example of my grandparents, I don’t have economic fears.” Notice this respondent did not say, “I don’t have economic challenges;” rather “I don’t have economic fears.”
In reading this, you might assume that I personally have known nothing of economic setbacks. Not so! I have lost a job I thought would be mine until I was ready for a comfortable retirement. I have been without health insurance and been burdened with massive bills for healthcare. And I have been very, very frightened by these things.
What I have learned is that fear does not prevent the layoff, the pay cut or the hospital bill from arriving. But it does sap the energy and creativity needed to solve the problem.
I can also assure you that, like Mark Twain, I have been very, very frightened by a lot of things that never happened to me. One of our survey respondents, a woman in Colorado, shared the wisdom she learned from her mother about our human tendency to fear what “might happen.” She wrote, “My mother taught me that fear was the worst thing. She would point out articles and news stories where someone said, ‘I was always afraid of x, and now x has happened to me.’ She illustrated her lesson with those examples. Thanks to her, ‘No Fear’ is my motto.”
Perhaps, when we can embrace calm and keep fear at bay, our vision becomes clearer and we can see alternatives to the [fill in your own disaster] that might occur. It’s just possible that things will be OK. Or if they’re not OK, that a solution will be found. Or what appears to be a crisis might even evolve into an opportunity. As one respondent wrote, “I’m not giving in to economic fears because my dad always taught me to be an investor, no matter what and especially when times are down. He taught me to look at it as a great opportunity for the future.”
What are your thoughts? Do you ever feel afraid in these challenging times? If so, how do you manage economic fears? Did you learn anything from your elders that helps? Please share your comments and check back soon for the next post in this series. With Mother’s Day and Father’s Day coming soon, I’ll be sharing thoughts from our survey respondents about the importance of family in good times and in bad.
